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5 Things to do Before Getting Married

Are you planning on getting married soon or in the future? I’m sure you are, that’s why you’re here! Check out these five things I believe you must you do.

1. Seek God.

First and foremost, with every decision you make in life, seeking God should come first. I strongly believe that most of our issues in life are due to the fact that we seek God after we’ve already made up our minds. Then when we’re left with regret or in sin, we call out to Him asking “why’d You let me get into this?” But in reality, our emotions or stubbornness led us there.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33)

2. Deal with any lust issue that you have.

Contrary to popular belief, marriage doesn’t cure lust. We have to die daily to our sinful desires and mindsets. Do you believe people go into marriage planning to commit adultery or to flirt with others? I don’t think so, at least I would hope not. However, that’s what happens when someone is driven by their flesh instead of the spirit. If you know you struggle in an area, don’t ignore it. Seek God for freedom from whatever bondage you may be facing. Don’t wait until you’re married to turn away from those lustful cravings.

“And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” (Galatians 5:24)

3. Heal from your past relationships.

I’m always amazed at how easy people seem to “fall in love” so easily, or should I say often? After I see the 3rd person for the year and the caption reads “love of my life”, I immediately feel confused. I’m not shaming them, but I do know that it’s not healthy to simply hand your heart over to random people without first allowing God to heal you first. There’s a saying that goes “if you don’t allow God to heal you, you’re going to bleed on people that didn’t cut you.” Besides, would you really want to meet someone great, but you’re only with them because you’re tired of being alone? Or what about meeting someone great, but your past insecurities caused you to push them away? Take your time during the healing process.

“Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.” (Psalms 37:7)

4. Pay attention to their character.

Those looks might fade in some years. Those curves won’t always be “perky”. All of those features that caught your attention are great, but they won’t sustain a marriage. Be sure that they love God and they aren’t just good looking. Be sure that they know how to pray and they aren’t just wasting your time. Be sure that the reason you’re attracted to them is because of the fruit of the spirit and the character they consistently show. You may want to marry them for their amazing looks or body, but you have to deal with that character daily. Nothing is worse than being with someone that’s beautiful, but very annoying, disrespectful or shallow.

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)

5. Operate in your calling.

Adam didn’t go to God asking “where is my partner?” God noticed he needed someone to help him fulfill the purpose he was given. Too often we seek the spouse before our purpose, but why would God send you a helper when you’re idle and not doing anything? Don’t get God’s plan out of order. Get active in ministry, in your local church and in your community before seeking marriage. Doing these things doesn’t guarantee a spouse, but they do help with our motives and they allow us to focus more on God’s timing instead of our timeline.

“And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.” (Genesis 2:15)

Of course there are tons of things one must do before marriage, but I thought I’d only share 5. Comment below on some things we must do before getting married.

Grace and peace,

Tovares Grey


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