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Accountability is Important

We’ve all read the story of David, the man after God’s own heart, falling into adultery. If you haven’t read it yet, please read 2 Samuel 11 for context. One of the most fascinating things in that story was the fact that David didn’t repent right after lusting after Bathsheba as she showered. He didn’t repent right after committing adultery with her. Neither did David repent immediately after having her husband killed. Well…. isn’t this the man after God’s own heart? Yes, he is, but he was still a hot mess.

“What’s your point, Tovares?!”

I’m glad you asked! The point is that David didn’t repent just because he felt bad, but he repented because God sent Nathan to bring conviction to his hardened heart. David did some things that didn’t please God (2 Samuel 11:27), but he tried to continue life as if nothing happened. Isn’t that what we do sometimes?

“And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said unto David, The Lord also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die.” (2 Samuel 12:13-14)

I don’t know about you, but I am praying that God will send all of us a “Nathan” wherever we may be in our spiritual walk. We all may be playing with sin and displeasing God, and God will send someone to help us out of it when we are ignoring His voice. Many of us neglect God’s truth; and that is why we have people like pastors, prophets, teachers, godly friends and godly leadership around to tell us when we are wrong, we need to do better and we can live righteous lives with the Holy Spirit. Does God expect us to fall? I’m sure He doesn’t want us to. However, he knows we all will fail without His help. But I am also sure that He doesn’t intend for us to stay down. David was willing to continue spiraling down before Nathan came, but you don’t have to stay down as well.

Every couple, young and old, needs someone that can:

1. Show them how to love one another in a godly way.

I don’t know if you believe this or not, but society is not living according to God’s standards. We have nothing but celebrities, drama and “reality tv” that are becoming the “relationship goals” for Christians. That’s silly in my opinion. We need godly examples in the house of God showing how marriage and godly relationships should look.

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity,” (Titus 2:3-7 ESV)

2. Teach them how to avoid temptation.

Like I previously said, society teaches us to go against the plan of God. We all need to find godly people we can pursue righteousness with! It is very hard to serve God alone, but when you seek Jesus with likeminded people, life becomes a lot easier! Jesus didn’t even walk alone, so I do not think you should be trying that either.

“Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, WITH THEM that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (2 Timothy 2:22)

3. Correct them when they’re wrong.

We live in a society that calls everything judgment. I understand some people are mean, but it is not God’s will for us to call everything judgment instead of listening, changing and growing. If you are wrong, be mature enough to be corrected because that will help you grow. We have to quit pushing away the people that love us just because they’ll correct us.Too many of us are friends with people or staying in churches because the leadership doesn’t confront our sin.

“For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” (Hebrews 12:6 NLT)

Every single believer that desires marriage needs someone that can:

1. Teach them how to maintain their bodies in a pure way.

Due to me creating this Godly Dating 101 page, many people come to me for advice, or assume I know a lot. The truth is, I was so driven by lust when I was younger that it doesn’t make any sense at all. There are days when I’m praying God keeps me free and in His presence just because I know that as enticing as sin is, it is able to destroy your life. My point in saying that is this: I WISH I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW! I didn’t have many examples on how to live purely. We all need godly believers that are able to tell us what to avoid, why to avoid it and how to pursue righteousness because purity is God’s will for our lives.

“For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:” (1 Thessalonians 4:3)

2. Teach them the types of relationships/people to avoid.

Before Abraham died, he made sure that he told his servant to get a woman from their own people for Isaac to wed. Why didn’t Abraham just let him marry a woman nearby? That’s because convenient isn’t always the will of God. It is better for you to find someone who loves God instead of someone random just because they look nice. The same way Abraham made that servant find the right person for Isaac, we need people who can help us choose godly people. Not choose for us, but to help us in the process of choosing a spouse.

“that I may make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell, but will go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” (Genesis 24:3-4 ESV)

3. Teach them the importance of not rushing the single season.

I know of one too many people who question why they’re single instead of just enjoying the season. Marriage doesn’t complete anyone, Christ does. Marriage should only add to what God is doing in your life. Marriage can be pointless if you have nothing to offer your spouse or no connection to Christ for yourself. However, I understand singles should be looking or praying about certain people if they desire marriage. But we all should have some godly mentors that can help us choose or use discernment so we are not rushing out of desperation.

“Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.” (Proverbs 11:14 NLT)

Before you read this blog and just start telling your issues or concerns to just anyone, please pray for godly accountability. Ask God to send someone who will correct you in love. Someone that will challenge you to grow even when you’re comfortable, complacent or lukewarm. If God didn’t send Nathan to David, he may have never written Psalm 51, the most beautiful passage on repentance. So let me ask you a simple question: are you willing to submit to godly accountability?

Grace and peace,

Tovares Grey


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